I'm a Writer with OCD.
This post talks a little about what it’s like to live with OCD as an author and what it can be like when writing with OCD. Skip to the end to watch the Vlog, instead.
What Is OCD?
OCD is short for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
This is usually portrayed in the media as someone who likes things to be perfectly clean, and washes their hands 100 times a day, but that isn’t really the heart of the disorder.
OCD is sometimes also referred to as the doubting disease. It makes the person suffering from it doubt themselves deeply.
Did I really lock the door? What if I didn’t?
That’s a normal thought that happens to many people occasionally. With OCD, that kind of thought can take up hours of their day, with repeated attemps to relieve those thoughts by checking and triple checking, but despite all the endless checking, the doubts persist.
Why Am I Talking About My OCD?
I’ve come across many authors who are open about their viaried struggles, from physical disabilities or ailments, to autism, anxiety, depression, and ADHD. What I haven’t seen much of (and trust me I’ve looked!) is other authors discussing how OCD impacts them and their writing.
I know I would have appreciated coming across another author like me opening up online, and maybe I can be that person for others out there.
I see you, friend!
My Current Struggle With OCD And Writing
I recently completed a scene writing workshop. I love to learn, and this workshop included weekly feedback with an editor, so I was super exited to be able to take part in it!
Unfortunately, due to my OCD, doubts began to take over.
Am I a terrible writer? Should I just give up now?
Anyone attending a program to learn more about a craft isn’t going to be perfect right off the bat, or why would they need to take the course?
But when you live with OCD, your brain doesn’t play fair.
Trying to get back into my pre-workshop routine has been a struggle. Knowing the words that will flow from my fingers into the first draft of my novel won’t be perfect, makes it a battle to get myself infront of my laptop. This is despite the logical part of my brain knowing that perfection isn’t required at this point in the process.
Dealing With OCD As A Writer
This is a tricky one.
Medication helps. The physical fight or flight sensations that used to come hand-in-hand with OCD thoughts are dulled, but the thought’s and doubts still exist. So it isn’t a perfect solution.
What works for me, might not work for everyone. We all have our own way of dealing with our struggles and different tolerance levels.
While it is difficult right now, I know that this will pass. Obsessions come and go. My OCD may be latched onto my writing now, but in a few weeks it could have found a new source of entertainment.
I do my best not to give OCD too much power anymore, and sometimes that means just doing the hard things.
Hard things like writing terrible chapters in my current draft, despite OCD telling me to give up.
So, fellow writer, if you too suffer from OCD, and it impacts your writing, know that you’re not alone.
Do You Love Reading As Well As Writing?
Then I think you’ll love my upcoming novel, Dying Tides. Check out the inside scoop on it before it’s released!
